You are asleep and here I am reminiscing about the "old days". Those days were filled with excitement as we never knew exactly when we'd see eachother and oh those butterflies that would almost make me sick with the joy of hoping to see you and when you appeared- sheer bliss. Dinners by candlelight; the stares under the stars; and the twinkling of a surprise in your eyes. We would talk about our lives together- someday. Oh how I would get so frustrated because it seemed so far away. I knew from the moment I met you- I had to keep you. I prayed oh Lord do something or take these feelings away. Oh how He did something.
Now we have a year and a half under our "married belt" and oh how it seems a miracle in today's world. I know pretty much when to expect you home and dinner is almost always waiting for your hungry tummy. The candles burn a little less brightly, but they still burn. The stars don't twinkle because we don't look at them anymore and surprises are hard to come by when the one person you want to hide them from knows exactly where they may be. We talk about how our day has gone by- seemingly forever since I saw you this morning when you kissed me goodbye. Sometimes I don't even remember you leaving, but oh how i miss you when you do. I pray oh Lord keep my husband safe and return him to me because I don't know what I would do- please let me keep him. Oh how our Lord does something- you return home to me. You step through that door and brace yourself for the wifey run and jump. You hold me and kiss me once again as I place the question before you- how was your day today? Sometimes it's hard to really talk about what we used to talk about- NOTHING. It's always something about Phoebe, work, home, plans- I feel like this year and a half is more than that and I forget that in some sense we are still newlyweds. Ironic how sometimes I wish we were still engaged to be married- to have the excitement of impending life together, but man I'm glad the planning and craziness is over and we can just enjoy ourselves. Well- we can until our sweet baby wakes up or cries or finds boredom in any place outside of our arms. Still there are times when I look up at you and remember back to "do you trust me this much?" The butterflies seemed to have died- maybe because my stomach acid build up killed them, but maybe there are other butterflies that have grown accustomed to the acid and sleep all the time. I hope the latter is true. I hear you sleeping and although my tired and weary self rejects the notion of rest I would love nothing more than to lay down by you and put my arm around you and dream about us- the life we would talk hours and hours about. But wait- I live that dream everyday because all I really wanted in the life we would talk about-is you.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Because A Grateful Heart Is A Happy Heart
I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm sick, I'm poor, I'm not gonna get a ton of gifts this year, my side of the fmaily isn't coming for Christmas, me, me, me, I, I, I, I don't have... I can't do... I wish I... woah is me. It's Christmas right? So as everyone is bustling around, stressing out, rushing through, hello- goodbye, don't have time, gotta get, be back soon... what in the world and why the heck are we doing what we're doing? This week being that Christmas is on Thursday and as for our little three bodied family having only one present under the Christmas tree- I got to thinkin' why I'm not happy. My baby girl is sick, our house doesn't have insulation in the attic and we can't afford it so it's ALWAYS cold, my husband works so hard, but we won't be getting much for Christmas because bills come at the beginning of January (like our mortgage!). The reason I've not been happy is because I'm not thankful, I'm not grateful for what we do have. Now I'm NOT writing this to sound pious or feel pity for me or any of that. No, the reson I'm writing this is because the other morning I was reading in Hebrews 13:5,15. The first verse out of the two says that we are to not have a covetous conversation (or basically talking about what we want or don't have ), and the second out of the two says to offer the sacrifice of praise continually. So far- I'm not doing so well. These verses reminded me of the little Veggie Tales song that Junior Asparagus sings- because a grateful heart is a happy heart. I'm not so grateful. Instead of praising the Lord for everything I have been given I'm focusing on the lack of presents underneath the tree and the fact that our daughter is still so sick. So as I look upon our pretty Christmas tree and the one present all solo (for my husband by the way) I'm trying hard to push away the me, me, me and let the Thank You God enter in.
Someone once told me, "Either sin will keep you from this book (the bible) or this bok will keep you from sin." Within this past week I know I haven't read everyday like I want to and probably because I was so ungrateful and that was getting in the way of having a desire to read. But getting back to the Word of God is so good. It's like a mirror showing us the things we might not want to see, but are desperately needing to see. I'm thankful that Jesus forgives us from our sins and that after we've confessed He remembers them "no more". So as the start to the next few days has been a rough and tough lesson- I'm looking forward to enjoying Christmas for the reason it's called such. Christ-mas. It's not about presents and decorations, although those things don't hurt. No, it's about God who came down to be the baby who grew to be the man and died to save us, to save me. So even if I don't open a single present this year I'm thankful for the ones I've already been given. BUT if I happen to get desperate to rip paper and bows I've got plenty of that to do so. :-) Everyone have a very Merry Christmas!
Someone once told me, "Either sin will keep you from this book (the bible) or this bok will keep you from sin." Within this past week I know I haven't read everyday like I want to and probably because I was so ungrateful and that was getting in the way of having a desire to read. But getting back to the Word of God is so good. It's like a mirror showing us the things we might not want to see, but are desperately needing to see. I'm thankful that Jesus forgives us from our sins and that after we've confessed He remembers them "no more". So as the start to the next few days has been a rough and tough lesson- I'm looking forward to enjoying Christmas for the reason it's called such. Christ-mas. It's not about presents and decorations, although those things don't hurt. No, it's about God who came down to be the baby who grew to be the man and died to save us, to save me. So even if I don't open a single present this year I'm thankful for the ones I've already been given. BUT if I happen to get desperate to rip paper and bows I've got plenty of that to do so. :-) Everyone have a very Merry Christmas!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
THANKSGIVING!!!!
Well this year was sooo utterly different. I made lumpia- filipino springrolls. I was pregnant last year and this year I have a beautiful baby girl. I am still happily married to the best husband in the whole world, but we have changed as individuals and that's to be expected. We are no longer in an apartment- we just moved into a house. AND we didn't have turkey or anything typical of a thanksgiving dinner. We had chili, beans, corn pudding, and my lumpia. BUT- we are just as thankful and spending time together as a family is still just as important. This untypical dinner made me think about what we really get together for.
Do we slave over a stove and cook for hours upon hour just to say we had a turkey because it's expected? OR do we work hard in our kitchens because we wish to feed a family we belong to- a family we are thankful for? I always thought turkey or ham and a huge feast had to be set up for it to be thanksgiving- but this year I found that even if we only had beans and bread we still come together and share a beautiful holiday where we think on the things we are thankful for.
I am thankful for my family- ALL of my family. I am thankful for my friends, my child, my husband especially, my privilege to stay at home with my daughter, my new home, the fact I live in America and have freedoms that others unfortunately don't. BUT the one thing I am the most thankful for is my Savior Jesus Christ. I think it's a beautiful segue into te Christmas season. The one thing I think people miss at Christmas though is that the baby in the manger didn't say in the manger. The baby grew up, lived a perfect life, died a horrible death, rose from the dead and saved mankind from their sins. The Lord has opened my eyes to this truth- we are not commanded to celebrate Jesus' birth, but we are shown to celebrate and remember His death and resurrection. We put so much emphasis on the birth of Jesus which was important, but in the glamour and sparkle of this holiday has outshown the real reason for His coming. Jesus didn't save people by just being born- He saved people by dying on the cross and rising again. So as we now look forward to Christmas and the holiday of giving- we should ultimately remember why He was sent to this world- to GIVE His Life a ransom for many. That is something to be truly thankful for! :-)
Do we slave over a stove and cook for hours upon hour just to say we had a turkey because it's expected? OR do we work hard in our kitchens because we wish to feed a family we belong to- a family we are thankful for? I always thought turkey or ham and a huge feast had to be set up for it to be thanksgiving- but this year I found that even if we only had beans and bread we still come together and share a beautiful holiday where we think on the things we are thankful for.
I am thankful for my family- ALL of my family. I am thankful for my friends, my child, my husband especially, my privilege to stay at home with my daughter, my new home, the fact I live in America and have freedoms that others unfortunately don't. BUT the one thing I am the most thankful for is my Savior Jesus Christ. I think it's a beautiful segue into te Christmas season. The one thing I think people miss at Christmas though is that the baby in the manger didn't say in the manger. The baby grew up, lived a perfect life, died a horrible death, rose from the dead and saved mankind from their sins. The Lord has opened my eyes to this truth- we are not commanded to celebrate Jesus' birth, but we are shown to celebrate and remember His death and resurrection. We put so much emphasis on the birth of Jesus which was important, but in the glamour and sparkle of this holiday has outshown the real reason for His coming. Jesus didn't save people by just being born- He saved people by dying on the cross and rising again. So as we now look forward to Christmas and the holiday of giving- we should ultimately remember why He was sent to this world- to GIVE His Life a ransom for many. That is something to be truly thankful for! :-)
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Babyland
I have reached the inevitable point of me being sick and praying that Phoebe doesn't get what I have. So I've been thinking what would be the perfect world according to babies and my imagination has led me to Babyland.
Babyland- a place where babies are always smiling and coo-ing; where parents always know what to do and when to do it; where let down doesn't take 10 minutes; where poopy diapers smell like lavender and there are no accidents to speak of; there are no fevers, rashes, or runny noses; crying it out isn't a precursor to sleepytime; and there's no reason fo rbun-bun to hold up your pacifier- in fact there's no need for pacifiers or any other sucking instrument; no need for bibs because when you teethe they just come through without any pain or drooling; medication is not needed and stains just disappear from your clothing; mothers look like supermodels after delivery and dads can sit at home with the newspaper because the house is immaculate and the dishes wash themselves. Laundry never has to be done there because they never get dirty. So this is Babyland- where every baby is wanted and loved.
Unfortunately this is the real world and not every baby is wanted and loved. It's a place where people get frustrated and angry and sad and just downright... down. This word has poopy diapers that can make Oscar the Grouch say yuck!. And yes- it is a place where babies can get sick from their mommies... so if you care enough about babies, please pray that mine doesn't get what I've got. :-D
Babyland- a place where babies are always smiling and coo-ing; where parents always know what to do and when to do it; where let down doesn't take 10 minutes; where poopy diapers smell like lavender and there are no accidents to speak of; there are no fevers, rashes, or runny noses; crying it out isn't a precursor to sleepytime; and there's no reason fo rbun-bun to hold up your pacifier- in fact there's no need for pacifiers or any other sucking instrument; no need for bibs because when you teethe they just come through without any pain or drooling; medication is not needed and stains just disappear from your clothing; mothers look like supermodels after delivery and dads can sit at home with the newspaper because the house is immaculate and the dishes wash themselves. Laundry never has to be done there because they never get dirty. So this is Babyland- where every baby is wanted and loved.
Unfortunately this is the real world and not every baby is wanted and loved. It's a place where people get frustrated and angry and sad and just downright... down. This word has poopy diapers that can make Oscar the Grouch say yuck!. And yes- it is a place where babies can get sick from their mommies... so if you care enough about babies, please pray that mine doesn't get what I've got. :-D
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Mi Buena Vida
So I'm finding out that motherhood changes your perspective about a LOT of stuff. It's not too important to me that the world is going crazy because well... the Lord is going to come back before it's destroyed or "unlivable". Jesus holds me and there's no safer place than in His arms. I also have been thinking about what true success is. Is it owning your own company? Is it having the money to do whatever you want? Is it becoming a doctor or lawyer and making tons of money? Is it to teach as many kids as you can hoping that somehow your life with change theirs? What is true success? True success for the believer is to bring glory to the Lord. True success is bringing lost souls to Christ- winning them for the kingdom. So as a mom I'm compelled to think about what my daughter and Lord willing-other children will see as success. I don't want them to think it's all about money- when the Lord is the ultimate provider. I don't want them to think that being high up in a company or on the social ladder is success because well... the rich and famous still die and it won't matter how much you had or how popular you were. What example am I setting for them? Am I living for today or am I living for tomorrow? Do I save up money in hopes that the Lord doesn't come back and Larry can retire early and Phoebe will get the best education available? Or do I seek to use the extra money we do have to see lost souls won for Christ trusting in the Lord that if He wants Phoebe to go to college that He'll provide the means to do so? So as I wonder about what my reaction will be to these thoughts my daughter is telling me to get the gettin'- she's hungry and we need to leave. Pray for me- I need all the help in parenting I can get. :-D And the Lord is the prefect parent! :-D God has blessed me so richly! I love mi buena vida.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Love You, Love Me
I knew you were the one that the Lord had for me. You were just different from the rest of them. Once I met you I knew that I had to have you in my life in whatever capacity possible. You were my friend before you were my soulmate and they say that's how it's supposed to be. We laughed with eachother and just "understood" one another. We left to Mexico and when we came back things had changed. Our relationship would break the barrier of just being friends and we were on our way to being "us". I would leave a few months later and be gone for a couple more, but I came back more sure than ever that you were the one God meant. Boyfriend was a fun word to use, but frustrating as the year went by. I wanted the ring and was sure that when it came I would know. It's funny how the Lord blinds you to surprise you. I never saw it coming. We were reading 1 Corinthians 6 and BAM. You got down on your knee- asked if I trusted you "this much" and held out your promise in a little red wood box. That promise would come to fruition seven and a half months later. You were mine and I was yours. Just us two. Three months later we would say hello to a life inside and a month before our anniversary we would greet that little life outside. We were no longer just husband and wife, but now we'd be father and mother. There were many times when I'd be more mother than wife and there'd be times when you were more father than husband. Sometimes we put others before eachother and it would hurt. But then we'd get away for a while and it'd be just us two. A movie, dinner, a romantic night out and for a few hours we would be newlyweds all over again. I love you my "Shining Knight in Armor"- I know that's not how it goes, but it's the only way I'll ever say it because that's the way I've always told you and it's special when I say it that way. No other girl will love you like I do. No other man will love me like you do. When the seasons come and go- Lord willing we grow old and gray- and when it comes time to say goodbye to eachother in this world I want you to know that there was never another man that I could've shared the best years of my life with. Love you.
Love,
Me
Love,
Me
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Parasite
I heard a story once of this teenage girl. She was a very attractive girl with a smile that would light up any room. She was very popular and the head of her class to boot. She had the perfect life and everyone wanted to be her. Let's give her a name... oh say... Kacey. So Kacey was what all the boys wanted and all the girls wanted to be. She wanted to go to Harvard and get her law degree and climb her way to the top of the social ladder and eventually get married and have two kids. She had no trouble making the grade and no qualms about going to parties and having a few drinks- she could do both without any problem. One night at a party she meets this guy. He was the guy all the girls wanted and the guys wanted to be. So they made a really good match. Mr. and Miss popularity. He had the grades as well as the moves too. Kacey fell head over heels for him and soon enough they were dating. They were practically inseperable and as prom was around the corner- they made plans. Not marriage- they were too young and both wanted to accomplish so much, but they were "in love" and the night after the Big Dance they had THE "big dance". Kacey didn't really want to, but her man was going to college in Denver and she wanted him to know she loved him enough to give "it" up so he wouldn't forget her and they would always be together.
Six weeks later she's in the girls bathroom leaving what was her lunch in the toilet. Graduation is only two weeks away and she's been accepted into Harvard. Here she is desperately seeking the answer to why she's all of a sudden sooo sick- it's like lunch always tastes bad and she never eats breakfast because she's too exhausted to get up in the mornings. She tells her BFF about what had happened after Prom and soon she's at her BFF's house looking at two pink lines on a stick. Kacey slumps to the floor in tears. She didn't want this. She was going to Harvard after all. She thinks about it a few more days before telling her boyfriend. Kacey comes to the conclusion that this isn't a baby- it's a parasite and one that's going to ruin her life. The one thing to do is to take care of it. So she gets a fake ID and goes into a clinic where she ends this mistake. She never got around to telling her boyfriend. He broke up with her right before graduation and never spoke to her again. Kacey figures that she was smart to get rid of her parasite because no one wanted it anyway. She told herself that next time she'd be smarter and use protection. So Kacey graduates and heads to Harvard.
While in college Kacey joins a sorority group- she is, after all, the most desired and envied girl on campus. Soon she has hundreds of Frat boys calling her and taking her out on dates. She dives into the party scene and soon she's taking a different guy back to her place every other week. She swore up and down that since she's using protection that her mistake wouldn't take a repeat, but sure enough she finds herself staring down on that little white stick knowing that the Parasite has returned. But Kacey knew she just had too much to do, too much to accomplish. No one would have to know that she made another mistake. Besides she didn't even know who the father was. There were too many to count and she was way too drunk to remember anything half the time. So she took care of the parasite and went on her way.
Kacey eventually graduated from Harvard. It took longer than she had cared for, but she had fun and lived it up so she could focus later on her career. She buckled down, went to law school and a year into grad school met Mike. Mike was a really nice guy. He was different from any guy she had ever met and after three years of dating they were engaged to be married. Kacey had enough of law and dedcided that she would be a stay at home mother after her and Mike got married. She had enough of partying and the wild life and looked forward to settling down and starting a family. She figured she didn't have a problem getting pregnant- she had after all gotten pregnant twice! So on December 10th, 1990 she and Mike became husband and wife.
They had been married for a year before they started trying to become pregnant and Kacey looked forward to seeing those two pink lines and welcome their soon-to-be child. After two years of trying and no baby, Kacey decided to go see a fertility specialist. After numerous tests, poking, and prodding, the doctor came in the examination room with the news. The doctor said, "I'm sorry, but there is so much scar tissue that your eggs are not able to implant properly. Have you had an abortion before?" Kacey had never told anyone- not even her husband- because they had been mistakes and no one needed to know... until now. She confessed to the doctor that she had indeed had two abortions, but what did that have to do with anything? The doctor said that the procedures done to her had damaged her uterus so badly that Kacey would never be able to get pregnant. Kacey broke down in the middle of the doctor's office overcome with grief. She would never be able to have a baby and had killed the only two children she would ever concieve. Kacey eventually told Mike about everything that had happened and two years later they divorced.
Kacey dove back into law with everything she had in her. Her career would be her baby now. She also partied and drank heavily, occasionally diving into recreational drugs. She was so overcome by hate for herself and anger that she would never be a mother. She eventually was fired from her job because she would come into the office plastered or wasted after a crazy night at the bar or club and became so addicted to coke that she stole money from people just to get the next high. She hated herself so much that she dreamed of suicide and slept with any man that would take her. She wanted to be loved by anyone. She had to take sleeping pills because the nightmares would keep her awake at night. The nightmares of screaming children, the vacuum noises, the blood on the floor. She had seemed fine at the time, but now the darkness overshadowed her and she just couldn't escape.
Kacey was now 40. Her once shining beauty had dulled into a plain complexion. The despair and desperation made her look a lot older now. One day soon after her birthday she met a man named Paul. Paul was an average-looking guy with determination and spunk. Kacey knew something was different about him, but wasn't sure what. This curiosity drew her to him and soon they were going out to lunch on a weekly basis. Kacey didn't mind that he talked about this man called Jesus and forgiveness... in fact she became even more curious and one day asked why Paul seemed so happy all the time. He told her about his past that was filled with robberies of every kind and accidentally shooting a 10 year old boy and how one day he had decided to try to hang himself because his wife had left him for his best friend and took everything he owned. Paul told her how life had seemed so meaningless and that he dreamed of leaving this world. But he also explained that when he put that rope around his neck he realized that he didn't know what he would leave this world to go to. He didn't know what would happen after he died. A day later this guy told him about Jesus and forgiveness and what it means to be loved. "I haven't been the same ever since I asked Jesus to change my life and forgive me and love me." said Paul. Kacey wanted what Paul had. Kacey wanted to be forgiven for killing her two babies. They had never been parasites. They had been living human beings. So right there at the lunch table Kacey asked Jesus to forgive her and love her. The nightmares stopped, she eventually stopped doing drugs, and three years later Kacey and Paul were married.
This story may seem unreal, but this is the world we live in today. People are desperately seeking love and approval, forgiveness and self-worth. The God of the universe loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you on a cross two-thousand years ago. But His Son didn't stay dead. He rose again so that you could be with Him in heaven. It says in Romans 5:8 that even while we were yet sinners (people who do things that aren't pleasing to God) Jesus Christ died for us. Romans 3:23 says that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Every human being has sinned. Romans 6:23 says that For the wages(or payment) of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. We deserve to be punished for our sins. God isn't just a good God, He is a just God. Sin has to be punished. BUT God gives us eternal life if we choose Jesus Christ. When we do that Jesus takes our place. When He died on the cross He took our sin on Himself and took the punishment on our behalf. Since it is a gift- it has to be recieved by the person it is offered to. God can't force you to choose His way. He gives you a choice- follow Him or live your own way. If you want to choose Jesus just tell Him. It's called prayer. You're talking to Him. Confess to Him that you're a sinner that needs to be saved. Tell Him that you can't live your life without Him and that you believe what He did for you is real. Tell Him that you're putting Him in the driver's seat and ask that He forgive you of your sins. He will change your life. I know He can because He changed mine.
Six weeks later she's in the girls bathroom leaving what was her lunch in the toilet. Graduation is only two weeks away and she's been accepted into Harvard. Here she is desperately seeking the answer to why she's all of a sudden sooo sick- it's like lunch always tastes bad and she never eats breakfast because she's too exhausted to get up in the mornings. She tells her BFF about what had happened after Prom and soon she's at her BFF's house looking at two pink lines on a stick. Kacey slumps to the floor in tears. She didn't want this. She was going to Harvard after all. She thinks about it a few more days before telling her boyfriend. Kacey comes to the conclusion that this isn't a baby- it's a parasite and one that's going to ruin her life. The one thing to do is to take care of it. So she gets a fake ID and goes into a clinic where she ends this mistake. She never got around to telling her boyfriend. He broke up with her right before graduation and never spoke to her again. Kacey figures that she was smart to get rid of her parasite because no one wanted it anyway. She told herself that next time she'd be smarter and use protection. So Kacey graduates and heads to Harvard.
While in college Kacey joins a sorority group- she is, after all, the most desired and envied girl on campus. Soon she has hundreds of Frat boys calling her and taking her out on dates. She dives into the party scene and soon she's taking a different guy back to her place every other week. She swore up and down that since she's using protection that her mistake wouldn't take a repeat, but sure enough she finds herself staring down on that little white stick knowing that the Parasite has returned. But Kacey knew she just had too much to do, too much to accomplish. No one would have to know that she made another mistake. Besides she didn't even know who the father was. There were too many to count and she was way too drunk to remember anything half the time. So she took care of the parasite and went on her way.
Kacey eventually graduated from Harvard. It took longer than she had cared for, but she had fun and lived it up so she could focus later on her career. She buckled down, went to law school and a year into grad school met Mike. Mike was a really nice guy. He was different from any guy she had ever met and after three years of dating they were engaged to be married. Kacey had enough of law and dedcided that she would be a stay at home mother after her and Mike got married. She had enough of partying and the wild life and looked forward to settling down and starting a family. She figured she didn't have a problem getting pregnant- she had after all gotten pregnant twice! So on December 10th, 1990 she and Mike became husband and wife.
They had been married for a year before they started trying to become pregnant and Kacey looked forward to seeing those two pink lines and welcome their soon-to-be child. After two years of trying and no baby, Kacey decided to go see a fertility specialist. After numerous tests, poking, and prodding, the doctor came in the examination room with the news. The doctor said, "I'm sorry, but there is so much scar tissue that your eggs are not able to implant properly. Have you had an abortion before?" Kacey had never told anyone- not even her husband- because they had been mistakes and no one needed to know... until now. She confessed to the doctor that she had indeed had two abortions, but what did that have to do with anything? The doctor said that the procedures done to her had damaged her uterus so badly that Kacey would never be able to get pregnant. Kacey broke down in the middle of the doctor's office overcome with grief. She would never be able to have a baby and had killed the only two children she would ever concieve. Kacey eventually told Mike about everything that had happened and two years later they divorced.
Kacey dove back into law with everything she had in her. Her career would be her baby now. She also partied and drank heavily, occasionally diving into recreational drugs. She was so overcome by hate for herself and anger that she would never be a mother. She eventually was fired from her job because she would come into the office plastered or wasted after a crazy night at the bar or club and became so addicted to coke that she stole money from people just to get the next high. She hated herself so much that she dreamed of suicide and slept with any man that would take her. She wanted to be loved by anyone. She had to take sleeping pills because the nightmares would keep her awake at night. The nightmares of screaming children, the vacuum noises, the blood on the floor. She had seemed fine at the time, but now the darkness overshadowed her and she just couldn't escape.
Kacey was now 40. Her once shining beauty had dulled into a plain complexion. The despair and desperation made her look a lot older now. One day soon after her birthday she met a man named Paul. Paul was an average-looking guy with determination and spunk. Kacey knew something was different about him, but wasn't sure what. This curiosity drew her to him and soon they were going out to lunch on a weekly basis. Kacey didn't mind that he talked about this man called Jesus and forgiveness... in fact she became even more curious and one day asked why Paul seemed so happy all the time. He told her about his past that was filled with robberies of every kind and accidentally shooting a 10 year old boy and how one day he had decided to try to hang himself because his wife had left him for his best friend and took everything he owned. Paul told her how life had seemed so meaningless and that he dreamed of leaving this world. But he also explained that when he put that rope around his neck he realized that he didn't know what he would leave this world to go to. He didn't know what would happen after he died. A day later this guy told him about Jesus and forgiveness and what it means to be loved. "I haven't been the same ever since I asked Jesus to change my life and forgive me and love me." said Paul. Kacey wanted what Paul had. Kacey wanted to be forgiven for killing her two babies. They had never been parasites. They had been living human beings. So right there at the lunch table Kacey asked Jesus to forgive her and love her. The nightmares stopped, she eventually stopped doing drugs, and three years later Kacey and Paul were married.
This story may seem unreal, but this is the world we live in today. People are desperately seeking love and approval, forgiveness and self-worth. The God of the universe loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you on a cross two-thousand years ago. But His Son didn't stay dead. He rose again so that you could be with Him in heaven. It says in Romans 5:8 that even while we were yet sinners (people who do things that aren't pleasing to God) Jesus Christ died for us. Romans 3:23 says that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Every human being has sinned. Romans 6:23 says that For the wages(or payment) of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. We deserve to be punished for our sins. God isn't just a good God, He is a just God. Sin has to be punished. BUT God gives us eternal life if we choose Jesus Christ. When we do that Jesus takes our place. When He died on the cross He took our sin on Himself and took the punishment on our behalf. Since it is a gift- it has to be recieved by the person it is offered to. God can't force you to choose His way. He gives you a choice- follow Him or live your own way. If you want to choose Jesus just tell Him. It's called prayer. You're talking to Him. Confess to Him that you're a sinner that needs to be saved. Tell Him that you can't live your life without Him and that you believe what He did for you is real. Tell Him that you're putting Him in the driver's seat and ask that He forgive you of your sins. He will change your life. I know He can because He changed mine.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Fredricksburg, TX- our little family outing
Last night SKIA rolls over and asks me, "How would you like to go to Fredricksburg?" and my response was "Sure, why not?" He then says that we could spend the day there and just get out of the house since he didn't have work. I smile and excitedly look forward to our little outing. This morning we got out of bed around 9am and eventually left our living space around 12:30pm. I was a little frustrated because I wanted to get there in a timely fashion. but SKIA was planning our itinerary. We picked up lunch on the way and by the time we were to Fair Oaks Ranch Small's desperately needed to be fed. I was smart (or so I thought) and brought a bag of frozen me- milk. Mistake number one: not thawing it out at home. Mistake number two: after her drinking most of it... I add water since Small's would be out in the hot sun and I didn't want her to get dehydrated. Unfortunately for me mistake number two had repercussions from that point until... well it may still have them. When I happen to mix milk and water, Small's has serious poopage. She had at least three big ones (mind you they hurt her bottom) at each of our stops for the afternoon and evening. We went to the Wild Seed Farm first and it went very well until it happened. She is screaming and inconsolable. I change her, she cries, and SKIA and I try to calm her down before someone calls CPS on us (yeah she was THAT loud). Then she's hungry so I go to the bathroom and feed her there (it's clean I promise you). We decided to buy a bottle of wine... apparently that helps relax and it's safe for breastfeeding mothers as long as you're not drunk or feed your child immediately after you enjoy some. I met a lady there who has a 2 year old daughter and is 7 months along with her son. I was like- yeah I wish I was that tiny at seven months. Everyone thought I was carrying twins because I was huge. I did end up gaining like 35+ pounds. Sad I know. But I did fit into my pre-prego jeans today... it felt so good. Anyhoo... where was I? Oh yeah so we're at this wild flower place and Small's is fed, clean, and happy. We leave about an hour later and she's passed out in her carseat. We go down to Main St. for a nice walk-and-shop experience. Of course everything is totally outside of our price range, but it's fun to shop anyway. We're in the middle of the store (one where no bathroom is available) and she's fussy again. This is maybe an hour to an hour and a half after the first bomb. She's dirty so we ask if there's anywhere we can change her and they lead us to a back room with a bed and we change her there. We thought to ourselves... No store would allow us to do this in San Antonio. SKIA chimes in "Nor in Boerne for that matter". So she's clean, happy, and falls back asleep. It's about 5:00pm and everything is closing down. We're like what?! It's only 5pm! This is why we drove an hour here... what is going on?! But in small towns everything closes early- you know so people can spend time with their families. I guess that's why we still live in San Antonio. We can go shopping at least until 9:00pm. So we head over to this German Restaurant. SKIA is part German so we figured we'd go to one of the popular german joints there. The food- especially the appetizer- was amazing! I have never had purely German food before and it's really good! So Small's had another accident AND she was hungry. The good thing was that she didn't let us know until after we had finished out entire meal- dessert included. SO I take her, change her, and feed her. We had at least three people tell us how beautiful and cute and small Small's was. I was flattered to say the least- people think MY child is cute! Maybe they think she gets it from her daddy because I just don't see it in me. SKIA would say the opposite- that Small's must get it from me. Anyhoo... so after we have a wonderful dinner we head home. She's starts whimpering about 10 minutes from home and I'm like she's poopy and hungry. SURE ENOUGH- that's exactly what it was. See- I'm learning. So all in all our family outing was fun, frustrating, and far from our little abode which made it seem like a mini-vacation. I really appreciate being home when she's poopy and hungry. You don't have to worry about people wanting to use the stall you're occupying for the next 20 minutes and you don't have to wonder if anyone really does think that you're hurting your child because what child screams like that unless... BUT we don't hurt Small's- she's just really loud in public. We love our baby. :-) SKIA and Small's are asleep after our long day. I'm up because I can't sleep until like 11:00pm or whatever. I have a hard time sleeping. Maybe it's because I won't get away from the computer. Just maybe... whatever. I'd better get to bed then... on that note... hopefully SKIA isn't all over the bed. That usually happens if I come in later. Small's is quiet so I assume she's asleep. I love my little family.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Phoebe's Birth... Woah- I'm A... Parent!
Well, I had to put this in here... at some point I knew I'd have to explain how awful my first birth experience was and here it is. I also came to the conclusion I'm a little too wacky to be popular and so I'm going to use my husband and my daughter's real names. Larry and Phoebe... my "Shining One". :-)
We called her and she asked me a few questions about the color, smell and look of the fluid and she confirmed that it was in fact amniotic fluid. I was going to see her that day anyway since my scheduled appointment was at 11:00am. We were supposed to do a certain test that made sure Phoebe wouldn't come out infected or something, but oops. So she told me to go about my business and that if anything else comes up to call her- time my contractions and blah blah blah. So I time them- they're all over the place with absolutely no pattern. Larry and I decide to go to the store to pack up on food items- I'd be in no shape to cook or clean for the next week so that's what our plan was. After the store- we got home and put away all the purchased items. I called the chiropractor because I wasn't going to be able to make it- I was having a baby today (or so I thought). Apparently after your water breaks there is a risk of infection and usually the baby is pretty bad off before you show any signs. So my midwife calls me and checks on my status... apparently none. She said- come on in to the office and I'll check your progress. Well we went and I was 1/2cm dilated and 75% effaced. She said the effacement was very important and dilation could increase rapidly. She gave me blue and black herbs and instructed me to take them at certain intervals in order to jump-start this labor process. She also had us purchase Castor Oil to remove the contents of my bowels. Nice. She checked Phoebe and our little wiggle worm was doing just that- wiggling all around. She said she had never seen a wigglier baby during labor before. So we return home excited- thinking we would see our baby girl tonight. Well- the contractions never got better. They remained everywhere with no pattern. The only thing about them that did increase was strength. They didn't put me on the floor but they felt uncomfortable. Phoebe was also turned slightly between anterior and posterior so we tried to get on the ball and make her get into the correct position- yeah the same ball we got the night before from Wal-Mart. By this point everyone was praying for us and at the prayer meeting they prayed some more. Later that night my midwife came over to our apartment and checked me again. I had been hurting a bit before this and so when she told me 1 cm dilated and 90% effaced it became painfully clear that we wouldn't be seeing Phoebe tonight. She told us that she would be back in the morning to check on me and to call if I felt the urge to push. So we settled down for the night. Larry in the bed and I on the big chair in our room- feet propped up. It was midnight and I was too uncomfortable to really sleep. So I guess I rested/ sat there relaxing as much as I could. I felt three to four contractions, five tops the entire night. SO when our midwife came to us at 5:30am (24 hours mind you) she checked me and reported that absolutely no progress had occurred. Around 7:00am she told us that even though there's no emergency now- there could be and it would come quickly. Better to head to the hospital now than RUSH over with a very sick baby inside. We called up the resident doctor and asked about the protocol- he said C-section 15 hours post-rupture. By that time we'd been 26 hours post-rupture. Larry became physically ill and I started to cry, my blood pressure went up, and Phoebe was just wigglin' around as much as she could which happened to be a glorious sign that she was indeed just fine. We discussed what would happen when we got there and prayed and prayed that everything would be just fine and that Phoebe would be born healthy. We looked at C-section as the only possibility. Being induced at this point was a 1% probability at that point. SO Larry and I get in the car- my contractions were hardly anything by then so I just sat back and figured the Lord has us in His hands and it didn't matter what I wanted at that point- what did matter was having a healthy baby. We get to the hospital around 9:30am and all the normal procedures occur. Paperwork paperwork paperwork... patience is a virtue. We get into the triage area, they ask us alot of questions, they tell me I'm borderline pre-eclamptic, we get a sonogram, we laugh and then they tell me stick an IV in and start the Pitocin. I'm like what? I'm thankful to say the least, but now I'd experience worse contractions... I wasn't exactly mentally prepped for that. They check Phoebe- still wigglin' and stiil somewhere in between posterior and anterior- they said that had slowed down my progression- I'm like what progression? After hours of people pressing on me, adjusting monitors and straps, going in a bed pan, begging for food, stupid blood pressure cuff going off, and focusing every ounce of will to get through each contraction... 3pm or so...they checked me 100% effaced and a total of 4cm dilated. I wa exhausted! They said they'd have to amp up the Pitocin and they'd hurt even more. Larry asked meto please take the epidural so I could rest so I would have the strength to push. I said I would with tears in my eyes and pain like I never felt before in my abdomen. Phoebe ith no clue as to what was going on was still in lala land and wiggling up a storm. Then the worst part of the entire ordeal- they told Larry to leave the room! I screamed, I cried, and they asked me to relax- how in the world am I gonna do that after my husband just left?! I wanted to make a scene, but between contractions and exhaustion I just didn't have the energy. So they stck me. Soon I'm numb from the waist down but still feeling the excruciating pressure from the contractions and Phoebe's head bearing down on my pelvis. They upped the medicine and I wa soon off to my own lala land. See you soon Phoebe. They checked me an hour later and 7cm. At 6pm they said I was ready. They prepped the room, prepped me, and asked my Larry to hold one leg and the midwife the other. I wa also holding my legs, but they were too heavy to go it alone. It took a while to get into position and then it took a while to get all the personell for me as well as for Phoebe in the room. Phoebe up until that point was doing great. As a precautionary measure they put an internal monitor on her head to keep an eye on her heart tones which had been perfect up until the peak of a contraction (the hardest point). Phoebe had also turned from her somewhere in between position to the posterior position and was ready to be delivered. So they started counting and I started pushing. 12 minutes later we welcomed Phoebe into our world. They allowed me to nurse exclusively- no formula no pacifiers- just mommy. I held her for two hours after birth which is a VERY RARE occasion. They stitched me up where I had torn and since I had lost a liter of blood they were thinking of doing a blood transfusion, but they didn't. The next five days would be filled with spinal headaches, milk coming in, engorgement, feeling like I had been run over by an eighteen wheeler everytime I woke up, and exhaustion... but I was blessed because both Phoebe and I survived our long journey. :-)
Now That's Deep...
So here I am once again. Small's is asleep and SKIA's at work. Moments like these provide ample opportunity to think... ALOT. I went to go purchase a printer last night and so I was at Wally-World (Wal-Mart)pushing my cart around looking for the cheapest but decent printer available. I found it. But you need to buy the USB cord, and paper, and if you really thought you'd be using a ton of ink in one night- an extra ink cartridge. I thought wow- you have to buy ALL this extra stuff just to get the system working- isn't that what you pay for when you buy the box it comes in? BUT I was glad to see that what I did pay for in that box included a Greeting Card Factory CD. SO if I ever want to make a "greeting" card I can. I could've had a USB cable instead of that CD! I'm sure there are tons of other ways to say hi, but whatever. :-P *le sigh* Whatcha gonna do?
While I'm at Wal-Mart I also pick up a few things from "The List". It's always a smart thing to take a list with you when you go to the store. You don't forget what you went there for AND you can scratch off what's already in the cart instead of having to check it off mentally as you're in line (I've seen people do that and sometimes you can see the worried look on their face- like they KNOW they forgot something important). Anyhoo... I pick up some Women's Multivitamins, some Calcium supplement, a box of tic-tac's, a box of breastmilk storage bags, and a box of foil along with the paper and USB cord that didn't come in the box it should've. I even thought of buying a surge protector thingy, but was like well what if I overload the wall- then I'd be in REAL trouble so I skipped the protector.
Going back to my list... the multivitamins and the calcium. I searched for good ones, but the good ones that have a decent price (Heck yeah I'm on a budget!). I came out with the One-A-Day Women's that supports breast and bone health; and a Calcium supplement from Spring Valley with vitamin D for better calcium absorption or whatever. I'm far from being a health freak, but I do realize that if I don't take care of myself- lots of things could go wrong. I could have osteoporosis; my milk supply will suffer as will Small's; I could get breast cancer- well it wouldn't be because of my lack of vitamins, but that's beside the point. So I had an epiphany right there in the store... what did people do before there were pills to pop? I mean people in the bible lived like over 900 years and they didn't have "supplements". I'm stretching that one a bit further than necessary, but seriously- what did our ancestors do to live a long time? We have so many health issues- it's like the newer the generation the more problems they have to solve to keep them alive longer. Like 8 year olds having heart problems from cholesterol clogging up their arteries! Isn't that for old people? Or 2 year olds with diabetes! What in the world?! I thought those kinds of things happen to "grown-ups"! I mean, lots of things are going bad for the young generation. Higher divorce rate, fatter kids, obesity killing off people, "non-traditional" families, a mother's boyfriend kills her son, people blowing eachother up, presidential candidates are putting celebreties in their ads, atheists demanding to promote their religion, Evolution is the Solution, shootings in schools, children beatin up their mommies because she didn't approve of their girlfriend or boyfriend, people fighting for the sheer experience in the school bathroom, teen pregnancy rates skyrocketing, 1 in 4 teens has an STD, kids having sex IN SCHOOL! I mean- what is wrong with the world?! This is what I have to raise Small's in?!
Wow- that went from supplements to sex in school... hmm... waaay to much time to think about stuff. Maybe I should go wash the dishes or something. Yeah- that's what I'll do. Check ya on the flip side. This is BEG's signing off.
While I'm at Wal-Mart I also pick up a few things from "The List". It's always a smart thing to take a list with you when you go to the store. You don't forget what you went there for AND you can scratch off what's already in the cart instead of having to check it off mentally as you're in line (I've seen people do that and sometimes you can see the worried look on their face- like they KNOW they forgot something important). Anyhoo... I pick up some Women's Multivitamins, some Calcium supplement, a box of tic-tac's, a box of breastmilk storage bags, and a box of foil along with the paper and USB cord that didn't come in the box it should've. I even thought of buying a surge protector thingy, but was like well what if I overload the wall- then I'd be in REAL trouble so I skipped the protector.
Going back to my list... the multivitamins and the calcium. I searched for good ones, but the good ones that have a decent price (Heck yeah I'm on a budget!). I came out with the One-A-Day Women's that supports breast and bone health; and a Calcium supplement from Spring Valley with vitamin D for better calcium absorption or whatever. I'm far from being a health freak, but I do realize that if I don't take care of myself- lots of things could go wrong. I could have osteoporosis; my milk supply will suffer as will Small's; I could get breast cancer- well it wouldn't be because of my lack of vitamins, but that's beside the point. So I had an epiphany right there in the store... what did people do before there were pills to pop? I mean people in the bible lived like over 900 years and they didn't have "supplements". I'm stretching that one a bit further than necessary, but seriously- what did our ancestors do to live a long time? We have so many health issues- it's like the newer the generation the more problems they have to solve to keep them alive longer. Like 8 year olds having heart problems from cholesterol clogging up their arteries! Isn't that for old people? Or 2 year olds with diabetes! What in the world?! I thought those kinds of things happen to "grown-ups"! I mean, lots of things are going bad for the young generation. Higher divorce rate, fatter kids, obesity killing off people, "non-traditional" families, a mother's boyfriend kills her son, people blowing eachother up, presidential candidates are putting celebreties in their ads, atheists demanding to promote their religion, Evolution is the Solution, shootings in schools, children beatin up their mommies because she didn't approve of their girlfriend or boyfriend, people fighting for the sheer experience in the school bathroom, teen pregnancy rates skyrocketing, 1 in 4 teens has an STD, kids having sex IN SCHOOL! I mean- what is wrong with the world?! This is what I have to raise Small's in?!
Wow- that went from supplements to sex in school... hmm... waaay to much time to think about stuff. Maybe I should go wash the dishes or something. Yeah- that's what I'll do. Check ya on the flip side. This is BEG's signing off.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
My Life: Before vs Now
There have been alot of changes in the past few years to say the least. I graduated from college, I married SKIA, and had Small's. I went from being single; staying out later than I should've; moving from parents house to host house to my own apartment to an apartment with a few roomies; going out to eat whenever; working at a DayCare to working at Best Buy; going to Oregon for two months doing mission work; dating; wondering when SKIA was going to propose; being Miss Independent Loud Mouth for no apparent reason other than I hated being in the background... from all of that to waking up every morning to SKIA's face; living with my two favorite people; staying at home ALL day long; cooking meals and going out occasionally; realizing that being in the background isn't so bad and being gentle and quiet is a privilege not a death sentence (and so much harder for me than people think); and the furthest SKIA and I have ventured since Small's was born was Temple, TX and believe me that was NO easy task!
But the change hasn't been a wham bam thank you mam all in one shot kinda deal. There were physical changes, emotional changes, and spiritual realizations (God never changes). I went from a size 2 at engagement to a size 10 when we found out we were preggers! That's twenty pounds and I wasn't even showing yet! My hormones raged even before I got married- after we found out Small's was on the way my hormones went into World War III mode. The happy hormones were constantly attacking the sad hormones and the angry hormones were caught somewhere in the middle practically blowing eachother to smitherenes. Poor SKIA! But through it all, my Rock has been my Savior because He never changes. As much as I have been through the Valley and up the mountains and back again... He has been my Sky. He has always been there, He never let me endure more than I could handle with Him.
Although the change wasn't sweet as pie and even though sometimes I still think back on my pre-SKIA&Small's days with envy... I wouldn't have my life any other way. Whether Small's is crying out of hunger or if she's discovering the GAGA sound for the first time with a sweet smile to boot... I love my Small's. And whether SKIA comes home all sweaty and stinky begging for dinner or if he's brought a bouquet of flowers... I love my SKIA. I can't imagine my future without them. So whether or not I'm happy, mad, or sad... I can have joy in my heart because I have been given so much. Wow- what a life. Check ya on the flip side!
But the change hasn't been a wham bam thank you mam all in one shot kinda deal. There were physical changes, emotional changes, and spiritual realizations (God never changes). I went from a size 2 at engagement to a size 10 when we found out we were preggers! That's twenty pounds and I wasn't even showing yet! My hormones raged even before I got married- after we found out Small's was on the way my hormones went into World War III mode. The happy hormones were constantly attacking the sad hormones and the angry hormones were caught somewhere in the middle practically blowing eachother to smitherenes. Poor SKIA! But through it all, my Rock has been my Savior because He never changes. As much as I have been through the Valley and up the mountains and back again... He has been my Sky. He has always been there, He never let me endure more than I could handle with Him.
Although the change wasn't sweet as pie and even though sometimes I still think back on my pre-SKIA&Small's days with envy... I wouldn't have my life any other way. Whether Small's is crying out of hunger or if she's discovering the GAGA sound for the first time with a sweet smile to boot... I love my Small's. And whether SKIA comes home all sweaty and stinky begging for dinner or if he's brought a bouquet of flowers... I love my SKIA. I can't imagine my future without them. So whether or not I'm happy, mad, or sad... I can have joy in my heart because I have been given so much. Wow- what a life. Check ya on the flip side!
Becoming Mother
My body is nothing I'd like it to be
Exercise leave me feeling achy
My hair is still wet from my unfinished shower
When crying comes from her with such power
I'm far from perfect and it frustrates me
How one person can feel so lonely
I'd like to be the woman living all carefree
Maybe people would then like to hang out with me
But here I'm at home with my little girl
Who has no idea nor a care in the world
How the woman I was was taken away
The day she came out and decided to stay
She also has no idea I suppose
That I would give it all up when I chose
The small little child fast asleep in my arms
Over parties and friends and all the world's charm
That this grown female who takes care of her
Would go through all that to be called her "Mother"
Exercise leave me feeling achy
My hair is still wet from my unfinished shower
When crying comes from her with such power
I'm far from perfect and it frustrates me
How one person can feel so lonely
I'd like to be the woman living all carefree
Maybe people would then like to hang out with me
But here I'm at home with my little girl
Who has no idea nor a care in the world
How the woman I was was taken away
The day she came out and decided to stay
She also has no idea I suppose
That I would give it all up when I chose
The small little child fast asleep in my arms
Over parties and friends and all the world's charm
That this grown female who takes care of her
Would go through all that to be called her "Mother"
"Children change lives" is a lovely understatement. Here's to the small miracle that changed mine. I love you my precious baby girl.
Monday, August 4, 2008
SKIA and Small's
Hi- BEG's here. I have heard that people don't say their real names on Blogs simply because if they get too popular they don't want people stalking them or whatever. I figured that since I have a made-up name that my husband and child should too. If you read my first blog you'll know what SKIA means. My Shining Knight In Armor. For the entirety of our relationship I never got it right so it just stuck that way even though I know it's supposed to be my knight in shining armor. But then it would be KISA and that just doesn't sound as cool. Anyhoo... so lets do a short exercise. My SKIA is at work today. There. So whenever I say SKIA it refers to my husband.
Now I had to think long and hard for what to call my daughter. I could make up lots of names for her. Little Toot... Pooper... Burp... Diaper Magician... but none of those would do her justice. SO I thought about it some more and came up with this. Small's because She's My Angelic Little Lady. Some would wonder why I'd call her angelic or even lady since neither one toots or screams like her. But she is like them when I'm holding her in my arms and looking into those big eyes that look straight back into mine. Yet another exercise. Small's had an accident in her carseat today. There. So whenever I refer to my daughter I use the term Small's.
Small's is now awake and calling me via whimpers so that'll be enough for today. Check y'all on the flip side.
Now I had to think long and hard for what to call my daughter. I could make up lots of names for her. Little Toot... Pooper... Burp... Diaper Magician... but none of those would do her justice. SO I thought about it some more and came up with this. Small's because She's My Angelic Little Lady. Some would wonder why I'd call her angelic or even lady since neither one toots or screams like her. But she is like them when I'm holding her in my arms and looking into those big eyes that look straight back into mine. Yet another exercise. Small's had an accident in her carseat today. There. So whenever I refer to my daughter I use the term Small's.
Small's is now awake and calling me via whimpers so that'll be enough for today. Check y'all on the flip side.
Where I'm Coming From
Lots of people do this thing when they get a new diary or journal. They say, "Dear Diary,"... and then they say a few things about themselves up until they got the book to write in. I suppose I should do that with my blog thing here. SO here goes nothing...
Dear Blog (or more accurately: my Readers);
My name is Brow-Eyed Girl. Call me BEG's for short. I'm a twenty something who graduated college, got married and has one daughter. I've been through a few trials here and there, but nothing that God can't handle. I call myself a Believer. I'm not a fanatic, religious or political. I'm pretty simple, although my husband would tell you that I'm kinda hard to figure out sometimes. I have a relationship with Christ Jesus- He's what gets me through everyday. Lemme see... what else can I say about myself without giving too much away. I love history up until the Fall of Rome, and then skip up to Henry the 8th then you lose me. I love gadgets, but don't ask me to fix them because I'm neat stuff illiterate. I love to sing and dance, but only for my daughter (that should tell you how good I am). I stay at home with her while my Shining Knight in Armor ( I always get that wrong) goes to work almost everyday.
I would say I'm sarcastic, but I'm sure you guessed that by now. All I want for Christmas is Crocs and for my birthday... hmm I'll have to think about that one. My daugter was born two days after my last birthday, but I went into labor the morning after the celebration... she was my belated birthday present from God. She wasn't supposed to come for another three weeks, but Surprise!!! My favorite thing to type is "..." because it means that I'm thinking. I always get in trouble when I think too much, but at least I think before I speak. Some people speak before they think and wish their brain worked faster than their mouth. I have the opposite problem... I don't get the words out fast enough. That's why blogging is so wonderful. You can erase and think all you want.
For those of you who have enjoyed my preliminary blog and like the way I write- that's great. As a woman, wife, and mother I will go through a lot of emotions and have lots of different thoughts... all while trying to stay true to myself. I suppose you can't put up a facade when people don't know who you are. So here is to a beautiful blog relationship... and to my journey on the Scenic Route.
Dear Blog (or more accurately: my Readers);
My name is Brow-Eyed Girl. Call me BEG's for short. I'm a twenty something who graduated college, got married and has one daughter. I've been through a few trials here and there, but nothing that God can't handle. I call myself a Believer. I'm not a fanatic, religious or political. I'm pretty simple, although my husband would tell you that I'm kinda hard to figure out sometimes. I have a relationship with Christ Jesus- He's what gets me through everyday. Lemme see... what else can I say about myself without giving too much away. I love history up until the Fall of Rome, and then skip up to Henry the 8th then you lose me. I love gadgets, but don't ask me to fix them because I'm neat stuff illiterate. I love to sing and dance, but only for my daughter (that should tell you how good I am). I stay at home with her while my Shining Knight in Armor ( I always get that wrong) goes to work almost everyday.
I would say I'm sarcastic, but I'm sure you guessed that by now. All I want for Christmas is Crocs and for my birthday... hmm I'll have to think about that one. My daugter was born two days after my last birthday, but I went into labor the morning after the celebration... she was my belated birthday present from God. She wasn't supposed to come for another three weeks, but Surprise!!! My favorite thing to type is "..." because it means that I'm thinking. I always get in trouble when I think too much, but at least I think before I speak. Some people speak before they think and wish their brain worked faster than their mouth. I have the opposite problem... I don't get the words out fast enough. That's why blogging is so wonderful. You can erase and think all you want.
For those of you who have enjoyed my preliminary blog and like the way I write- that's great. As a woman, wife, and mother I will go through a lot of emotions and have lots of different thoughts... all while trying to stay true to myself. I suppose you can't put up a facade when people don't know who you are. So here is to a beautiful blog relationship... and to my journey on the Scenic Route.
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