Is It Weird That I Talk to Myself?

CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF ABOUT WEIGHT:


Me: "Hey there."

I: "Hi."

Me: "You know, you're getting kinda fat."

I: "I'm pregnant."

Me: "Oh yeah. So when's this gonna, you know..."

I: "In March, hopefully the end of February."

Me: "Whew! I thought we were gonna be like this forever!"

I: "Do you think we'll lose the weight fast like with the first one?"

Me: "I hope so- you don't look as attractive with that second chin."

I: "Ugh... I totally agree. I can handle feeling like Shamu, but that second chin puts a real damper on this whole experience."

Me: "Really?"

I: "No."

Me: "Do you think you'll ever look like you did in college?"

I: "Whaddya mean? The 5'4" 110 lbs. of skin and bone? I don't think so."

Me: "Well at least you're being realistic."

I: "I wish I could be that small again, but you remember what we went through. I could never do THAT again."

Me: "Yeah- we were really dumb huh?"

I: "Yeah- stupid social pressures to be super skinny."

Me: "Yeah."

I: "Stephen kicked again."

Me: "Yup... It's so worth it though."

I: "What's worth what?"

Me: "The process of having kids... the changes that happen physically and emotionally and mentally. Phoebe and Stephen are worth every stretch mark and every pound that may or may not ever come off."

I: "I agree. When Phoebe cried for the first time- all those maternal fat stores didn't mean anything."

Me: "Yeah. And when Stephen cries for the first time- they still won't mean anything. Now- after a few days of looking pregnant and not being pregnant, the fat stores might bother me."

I: "Ehh, the hubby says we're going to have a gym membership and we'll get small again."

Me: "Yay for gym memberships! Remember he used to be our workout buddy in college."

I: "He's soooo the best workout buddy ever! Well... except for you."

Me: "Thanks. Hey, do you think we'll ever get washboard abs?"

I: "Hahahaha- that's like asking if I'll ever model for a magazine."

Me: "After what you put me through? Psssh! I don't think so."

I: "Well... Phoebe needs to go to bed and you need to make the hubster lunch and breakfast."

Me: "You mean 'you' right?"

I: "Riiiiight."