Abigail Olivia Kreusel

I'm still reeling from the events that took place over the past 36 hours so please bear with me...

My last post was written on the eve of my due date around 11pm. That following morning my water broke at 3:13am. I turned to Larry, poked him a few times, and said almost in a whisper, "My water broke." I can't quite remember the facial expression that followed because I was up and rushing to the bathroom. I barely made it over the toilet when this rush of fluid drenched my undies. Yikes and yikes again! I called my midwife who said, "Get some rest. We may have a while before birth." I thought to myself, "Haha- yeah right. My labor started within two hours with my son." For those of you who don't know- all my labors were preceded by my water breaking which is rare. Approximately 17% of women's water breaks before labor starts. This has happened to me with ALL of my babies. Fun fun fun. So I was expecting labor to start that morning and that we'd have a baby by the end of the day. Boy was I wrong...

Contractions started and stopped, started and stopped, started and stopped. The kiddos were picked up by Larry's parents and we were off to walk at Target to try and start labor. After Target, we ate lunch, and took a nap. Contractions started and stopped. At 5pm we were at the San Antonio Birth Center discussing risks, paper work, and possibilities. At that point we were 15 hours post rupture and it was also at this time I started to recall my first labor and delivery where, 26 hours post rupture, we went to the hospital and Phoebe was born health (Praise God!). Fear crept into my thoughts and I'm pretty sure there was a correlation between stalled labor and my fear. My midwife (who was also one of my midwives with Phoebe) reminded me that each labor is different. With Phoebe, we didn't know the GBS results, she was 37 weeks, and I was hardly dilated. With Abby, we were GBS negative which meant we could stay outside of a hospital for an extended period of time as long as the baby and I were doing well., her head was engaged, I was dilated to a 4, and had reached my due date. Two very different circumstances, but similar in some ways. I needed to focus on the differences instead of expecting the same results. We checked Abby and she was doing wonderfully. I was hydrated and ready for dinner and with some rest I would be ready for labor.

We left around 6pm and rented a movie- something to keep my mind off things until they turned serious. Once again- we reached our house where the contractions started and stopped. We fell asleep at 11pm and at 3 Larry woke me up to take my temperature and so I could do my hibiclens rinse (I was instructed to do this every six hours since we were more than 18 hours post rupture. We fell back asleep right afterwards because all I could think of was "I want to sleep."

My midwife would later compare what happened next to large amounts of water being released from a dam. I woke up at 3:30am in the middle of a contraction and on top of that I felt a HUGE "kick" that resonated downwards. I got up and went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and couldn't stay seated. I stood up, wrapped my arms around Larry's neck and hung there in a squatting position. That was the only thing that could "help". Actually nothing could lessen the pain, but this was the most comfortable position in which to withstand the pain. I had pitocin induced contractions with my other two. These contractions were WORSE than those. They didn't feel anything like natural contractions! The pain caused me to moan and with tears streaming down my face I literally thought I was going to die. Larry and I got into the shower and the water helped, but didn't do enough to make me believe I could survive this onslaught. Larry got out, called my midwife and explained that my contractions were coming 2-3 minutes apart (I only had 4 contractions since I woke up). I was leaning against the wall, squatting, moaning, and begging God to help me. The midwife instructed Larry to start filling the birth tub and my hot water went caput. I was shivering and writhing in pain. Larry put his robe on me and I proceeded to sit on the toilet. 1-2 contractions and I exclaimed, "I need to poop!" Larry immediately called the midwife and explained that he was sure Abby would be here before she was. My midwife instructed him to get me to the bed ASAP. I'm screaming at this point- the pain seemed unbearable. He got me off the toilet, off all fours, and somehow managed to drag me to the mattress in our living room. The pain induced by the contractions were replaced by this burning sensation- I can't explain how awful it was. In the back of my mind I was sure I was going to rip to shreds. I put my hand to feel what was going on an sure enough- Abby's head was ready to come out. Larry put the phone next to my head on the bed so that I could hear my midwife calmly saying, "Breathe Libby. Breathe your baby out." This wasn't the "Count to 10" pushing. This was "my body is forcing me to push" pushing. When the urge left, I breathed deeply and desperately tried to keep from crying. Larry was waiting to catch Abby as I was waiting for the next urge. Her head popped out (after what seemed an eternity) after three urges and her body followed with that last urge. I had never felt such relief AND sensitivity before in my LIFE! Abby was born at 4:22am... approximately 10-12 contractions and less than an hour later. My midwives arrived a few minutes afterwards.

My midwife explained that my labor was so hard because it was so short and if I had a longer labor it would've been much more manageable. She also said that I probably shouldn't have a home birth again. I was and still am completely in awe of what happened. Abby was born healthy and wonderfully pink. It amazes me that she weighed in at 8lbs 7oz- the biggest of all my babies. I survived her birth (obviously) and I remained intact. No stitches, no damage except for a "rug burn" from Abby's passage out which will probably heal within 48 hours. A sheer miracle all things considered. I was even able to urinate 3 times before the midwives left. I have never felt so good after birth. No numbness, no monitors, no worrying, and no letting Abby out of my sight. Although the MOST excrutiatingly painful experience of my entire life, it was also the best labor and delivery. I could eat and drink whatever and whenever I felt the need arise. I wasn't strapped to a bed, I could shower, I was able to live in the moment (even though I truly thought I was going to die), and Abby's birth was attended by only myself and my husband. He did great- I couldn't have asked for a better birth coach, partner, and "catcher". :-)

What did I learn from this? Well, I'll have to save that for another blog entry. All I can say is that God once again has been merciful, faithful, and powerful. I am so thankful for all my friends and family who were praying us through our last leg of this journey. It's time for me to get some rest now and bask in the cuteness and cuddles from my sweet little baby girl who happens to be worth all the waiting and pain. Welcome to our world Abigail Olivia Kreusel! :-)