Momma VS The Tantrum

So this morning kinda went like this... Larry wakes up, I wake up, Larry leaves for work, I get up, I prepare the pot roast with carrots and potatoes that will be dinner for the next 4-5 nights, Bubba wakes up, Phoebe wakes up, I get Bubba a bottle of milk (not that he needs the bottle- the sippy cups are all dirty), I heat up leftover white rice and add milk with sugar for our breakfast, change Bubba's nappy, put him on his potty, and then after a thorough hand washing I attend to the breakfast on the stove and serve it up for Phoebe and myself (Bubba had a banana because rice is just waaaay too messy for him to deal with and I preferred not to spoon feed him this morning). This is where the trouble started...

Phoebe: Mommy, can I have milk sippy cup?
Me: Sure thing- I'll get it in a minute.

(a minute later)

I'm pouring the milk in her red sippy cup when I hear mid-pour, "Mommy, water sippy cup!"
I figured since I already had a sippy cup full of milk that I'd drink some of the milk, pour out the rest in our rice bowls (something she was also asking for), and rinse out the cup and pour my water (which was in my big cup) into her sippy cup- end of story, right? I WISH! The next thing I know Phoebe is pouting (full blown bottom lip pout) with very angry eyes, and her open hands on her face dragging down her cheeks. Needless to say I knew she knew that I knew she wasn't pleased with my actions. My daughter does not throw the loudest or most violent tantrums, but she does throw some serious attitude and has a glare that could pierce even the thickest skin. I had tried my best, hadn't I? I, as calmly as I could, explained that the water that was in the sippy cup, the big pink cup, and the faucet was all the same water. She whispered harshly, "I'm sad!" and then after a few seconds of silence she again whispered gruffly, "I"m angry!" What was I supposed to do? It was at this point I knew that she was either going to bend to the situation or she was going to get her way via her tantrum.

Now it may seem like a silly thing. Why shouldn't I just give in to her? It's a simple request and all it took was me waddling over to the kitchen, lift my legs over the baby gate (yes I still have it up), and empty out the cup, turn on the faucet, and fill up her sippy cup. But what kind of behavior would I be enforcing by giving in? A very wise mother once told me, "Pick your battles wisely." and maybe this was not the best battle to pick, but I picked it for this reason: I'm not going to give in to her tantrum (and yes- it was a tantrum. She didn't have to be throwing herself on the floor for it to be a tantrum). I commended her for being honest with her feelings (it had been a great morning and I had a little extra patience stored up) and then I asked why she was angry. I rephrased it as, "What has made you feel angry?" (she doesnt' quite get the concept of "why") She refused to tell me, but the glare continued. So I asked again what made her feel angry. No answer- just a glare. Okay then... "Phoebe please go sit down and eat your rice." Another burst of attitude with full blown bottom lip pout and continued glare. (I should mention Bubba was happily eating his banana in his chair while all this is going on- hey why not? Free drama without pressing any buttons!) My blood pressure rose slightly as I was trying oh so hard to keep myself from raising my voice (yeah I have a slight problem with that). "Phoebe, please eat your rice." Continued glare and a huffed whisper, "I'm angry." Oh great- now what? She's mad because she didn't get her water in her sippy cup from the faucet and now she refuses to eat her cereal. It's at this point I'm wondering why God gave me a daughter first. I mean seriously- boys just give it to you like it is, but girls make you read their minds and get mad when you can't!

Here we go... the battle of the wills has come to full fruition. It's Momma vs Phoebe. Momma- pregnant and hormonal in one corner! Phoebe- 3 years old (that's enough explanation) in the other! I have picked this battle and I will win- not just because I want to. NO- I NEED to win this one. So... I, as calmly as I can, ask her to take her spoon in her hand and take a bite of her rice. *no movement- just a glare* Again- I ask her to take her spoon in her hand and take a bite of her rice (a bit more frustration seeps through). *no movement- just a glare* For those who don't know me- we discipline with a spank spoon (I'd be happy to explain why we do this). I asked her to come receive her discipline (no I'm not making that up- I honestly word it just like that). It's at this point I spank her bottom, and tell her it was a bad decision to choose a spanking over eating her food. She cries for a little bit (for obvious reasons). I ask her again to eat her food and she takes one bite... and another and another until about half of her rice is gone (I have to admit it was a large serving). She stops for a minute and I ask her "Are you full? You may get down now if you're full." Immediately she climbs down and drinks the water from her sippy cup before going over to her stuffed animals and playing. (Bubba is still munching away happily on his banana then proceeds to wipe the remains on his hands into his hair- oh joy)

I thought to myself, "She just ate half her food, and drank the water from the sippy cup. So what was all the fuss about?" She looked over at me and smiled because I'm sure the very confused look on my face was slightly comical. A few minutes later we were watching "I Dream Of Jeannie (With the Light Brown Hair)" like nothing happened and I guess that's the way it should be. No anger was held on to, no prolonged rejection, no left over feelings... we were free to be happy again. I'm sure this won't be my last run in with the dreaded "Tantrum", but at least this battle was in the end a win for the both of us.